Why should you set boundaries?

Setting boundaries are about people respecting you and your wishes. Boundaries can be set for both children and adults. Creating boundaries and sticking to them helps to build your self-resect.

Healthy boundaries helps you focus on what you can control. They can be both negotiable boundaries and non-negotiable and need to be set for several areas of your life.

Your boundaries are going to be different to other people’s boundaries because everyone’s situation is unique. What may work for you might be a disaster for others. You need to follow your gut about what will be best for you, your mental health and wellbeing.

Adults Boundaries

As adults we need to set boundaries around communication.

Boundaries help people keep their relationship healthy and intact. Once it feels off-balance to either person, it may mean someone has overstepped the boundary. Making your boundaries known with clear, assertive communication leaves little room for guessing or assuming and little opportunity for negative feelings between people who care about each other. A healthy relationship and friendship will respect and welcome these boundaries.

As parents its important to set boundaries with your own parents. Sometimes they can be quite (lovingly) vocal about the way you choose to bring up your children or how you live your life. It can feel uncomfortable to set boundaries and start telling your parents how you want to be treated and or what advice you choose to take from them, you need to be clear about whats off limits.

Boundaries are especially important if you are going through a breakup or separation and even more so if there are children involved in that separation.

If communication with your former spouse is not positive or it’s not benefiting you in any way, then you need to set firm boundaries around what communication will look like going forward and stick to those boundaries, these are the non-negotiable boundaries.

Children’s Boundaries

Being consistent with routines and boundaries regarding the care of the children, pickup and drop-off times and locations will help the kids to feel secure and better cope with all the changes that are happening in their lives.

Children learn about boundaries from an early age, we just didn’t call them that when we were growing up. They are things like: bedtime routines, walking home from school, doing your homework and when you’re a little older, what time you have to be home after an afternoon or night out, these are boundaries that can be negotiable (or not).

Don’t be afraid to set boundaries for behaviour in your home. It’s important that you clearly communicate your expectations to your children. Make sure that these expectations are reasonable and that you are comfortable with them, this will increase the chances that your children will also be comfortable with them.

Boundaries need no justification. They are the standards you’ve chosen to live by, so don’t live your life according to someone else’s standards.

Do you set boundaries and stick to them?

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